Last June 2023, I arrived here in New Zealand to pursue an agricultural course mainly focusing on dairy farming and aimed to find a job afterwards.
Before that, I was a software engineer in the Philippines for almost six years. However, a few years ago, life threw some difficult circumstances my way, so I went abroad to start a new life, helping my parents and siblings and having my healing journey alone.
But I think life gets tougher here in New Zealand. I spent my three months of study and training in Hamilton. Of course, living alone and adjusting to a new country were very challenging for me. But after I completed my program, another real hustle began.
I struggled to find a job for almost four months because obtaining a work visa became complicated, and not many employers wanted to hire migrants anymore. Especially in farming, most employers prefer men to women.
So, I had been anxious and doubtful for months, sending hundreds of applications and being rejected a hundred times, but I just kept waiting and praying to God.
While in my waiting season, I cannot stop questioning God. I keep asking, God, why did you allow this to happen? Why do I feel like struggles keep coming and won’t end?
God, Why do I feel like life is so easy for others, but why is it so hard for me that I need to crawl to get where I am right now? God, why have my friends settled into their lives, and here I am, still lost and wandering like a baby?
Yes, I’ve been rebellious and tested enough, but God has shown me his love and comforted me through His word.
Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Isaiah 41:10
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
These were the verses that God has instilled in me through my journey, and these words gave me assurance, hope, and peace.
By God’s grace, I was employed and started working on a farm somewhere in Glenavy last December.
It’s a significant relief for me since I was challenged not only emotionally and mentally but also financially. But God is really good; He sustained me and provided for all my needs in His mysterious ways.
However, it does not end there. God loves to get my attention.
Just this year, the farm owner decided to sell the farm, and I was told to look for a new job because the farm would only be running until the end of May.
That’s where anxiety and fear tried to overcome me as soon as I learned about it because I knew that if I couldn’t find a new job, the worst-case scenario was that I would have to return to the Philippines.
This development concerns me because I still owe a considerable sum of money to my family. I almost gave in to the enemy’s lies and broke down again.
But this time, I chose to pause. I reassessed my life and my thoughts. And I heard God say, “Hey, my child, don’t waste your time worrying. I am your God. We have been through a lot together. Have I ever left you alone? If I can perform great things before, how much more can I do for you this time?”
I surrendered my battles to the Lord, knowing nothing could stand against His power. So I focused on him, waited for him, prayed nonstop, and started taking life positively.
Again, by His grace and mercy, I signed a contract with a new employer weeks ago, and I am currently waiting for my working visa to be settled. Indeed, to God, all be the glory.
Throughout my journey, I’ve been thankful for the lessons God taught me, for moulding my character and strengthening my faith, and I’m also grateful for the people God sent to help me. Again, God is really good.
So, I want to share some of my takeaway lessons:
First, in our waiting season, instead of fretting, let us clear our minds and hearts and get ready to listen to God. We know that God controls everything, so if he allows us to wait, he must teach us something during the process.
Second, God gives us trials to shake our lives because it’s His loving way of getting our attention. So when life gets hard, let’s remind ourselves that God already knows the problem and the solution; he knows our needs and wants us to search for him and put our trust in him.
Third, when our future gets blurry, remember that we may encounter many uncertainties in our lives, but one thing is sure: God is good; he loves us enough that our tomorrows are already taken care of.
NOTE: The author shared her testimony during the 28 April Sunday worship service. She attended Oamaru Baptist Church while working at a Glenavy farm. We continue to pray and journey with her through prayers and support.
